Essssssspresso

This may make me sound like a petty asshole but I cannot STAND when people order espresso and pronounce it "expresso." Expresso isn't even a word. Let me spell out the correct word for you E-S-P-R-E-S-S-O. It's like you start off saying the letter "S" and then before you say the letter "O" you throw the word "PRESS" in the middle. Put it together and you get ESPRESSO. WaLa, just like that you get esssssssspresso.

If you haven't figure it out yet, it really irritates me. I work in a coffee shop on Tuesday's and when people ask for that extra shot of eXpresso, I'm almost tempted to look at them quizzically and politely ask them what the fuck that is. And then I'll pretend to have an epiphany and that I've decoded their jibberish by saying to them: "Oh, what you meant to say was espresso."

I am more than obliged to fix everyone their drinks with a smile on my face and a chipper tone in my voice, but deep down inside I am boiling for a solid five seconds after I experience the mispronunciation. I appreciate all of my customers and love making them drinks so that they can get their coffee fix in for the day in order to help them survive the dreaded hours couped up inside a windowless classroom that looks more like a jail cell than a place for learning.

I pity them and am slightly tickled with joy at the thought that by making them that caramel latte or vanilla frio...or my fave is the lady that orders the large sugar-free vanilla cappuccino with soy milk and decaf espresso...but anyways, that by making them that drink, it will make their day a little better. Whatever makes the customer happy makes me happy. But please people when ordering, throw caution to the wind and think before you speak when making that special request for that extra shot of the jitters. Just remember, it's essssspresso.