This weekend had me on wits end with Pittsburgh sports. My stomach hurts, my legs ache and I've got a headache from drowning my nerves....And my remote control is smashed... okay, that's a lie. But still. Within a full 24 hours, Pittsburgh has been a mosh pit, a roller coaster ride of screaming sports fans.
Speaking of drowning nerves, I am fairly certain Big Ben played either hungover or drunk today.
Maybe Bennie boy just wanted to have a tickle-fest with Robert Geathers instead of play football today?I am also fairly certain, after Pansy Toes, aka Jeff Reed, twinkle toed his way to another missed tackle/touchdown saving hit, that there is no way he is even brave enough to go Mano-e-Mano vs. a paper towel dispenser, let alone hop into the fighting Irish stance ready to do the tango with a police officer. No way is it possible, sorry your honor, but clearly today's performance on the field this week and last Monday, is enough evidence to dismiss the case and rule my client not guilty.
Okay, one more assumption on why the Steelers were so awful...they just got confused. Yah, see they thought this was another WWE stint and this was just a wrestling match. Yah that's it. See:
It didn't help matters much when the King of Troy aggravated his knee again in the opening drive and did not return for the rest of the game.
Okay, so injuries and suckiness aside, well, no suckiness is still on the table because my next point I'd like to make is that Max Starks must've thought he was playing in the stadium next door at PNC with the suckiest of suck - Pittsburgh Pirates, because I am pretty sure I could have put my 85 year old, 5'2" (and shrinking) 100 lbs grandfather, who at one point in his life spent time in a full body cast during WWII after getting run over by a jeep...into the game today and he would have been more useful and had better blocks than Mr. Starks.
Hines, Mike, 'Ton? I don't know if I still should be pointing the dreaded finger at Ben for under throwing the deep balls and over throwing the short ones, or if I should be barking up another tree at the receivers for not being open and making plays? I think it was a little bit of both.
So, Santonio, keep that bicep in your sleeve and make some plays with it instead of daunting and flexing it for everyone after a 2 yard catch. Act like a Super Bowl MVP and start making noteworthy catches in important games.
Okay, now that I got that out of my system, onto the good stuff... HOW BOUT THEM PENS? Okay, it wasn't the most graceful win and they scraped by and chalked up a W by a minuscule four tenths of a second, but hey, a win is a win is a win....Good work boys, free smooches from Crosby.
And what about those Pitt Panthers? Can this city be any more awesome when it comes to sports? Congrats to Jonathan Baldwin for being named Big East player of the week.
Jeff: "Coach, what do I do now?"
Tomlin: "Quit being a pansy and go tackle him you idiot!"
Okay, one more assumption on why the Steelers were so awful...they just got confused. Yah, see they thought this was another WWE stint and this was just a wrestling match. Yah that's it. See:
1...2....3...PINNED
Ben: "Ow, man! Uncle, Uncle!!! I SAID UNCLE, THAT MEANS LET GOOOO!"
...Yah, I bet Daddy Rooney was proud.
It didn't help matters much when the King of Troy aggravated his knee again in the opening drive and did not return for the rest of the game.
Okay, so injuries and suckiness aside, well, no suckiness is still on the table because my next point I'd like to make is that Max Starks must've thought he was playing in the stadium next door at PNC with the suckiest of suck - Pittsburgh Pirates, because I am pretty sure I could have put my 85 year old, 5'2" (and shrinking) 100 lbs grandfather, who at one point in his life spent time in a full body cast during WWII after getting run over by a jeep...into the game today and he would have been more useful and had better blocks than Mr. Starks.
Hines, Mike, 'Ton? I don't know if I still should be pointing the dreaded finger at Ben for under throwing the deep balls and over throwing the short ones, or if I should be barking up another tree at the receivers for not being open and making plays? I think it was a little bit of both.
So, Santonio, keep that bicep in your sleeve and make some plays with it instead of daunting and flexing it for everyone after a 2 yard catch. Act like a Super Bowl MVP and start making noteworthy catches in important games.Okay, now that I got that out of my system, onto the good stuff... HOW BOUT THEM PENS? Okay, it wasn't the most graceful win and they scraped by and chalked up a W by a minuscule four tenths of a second, but hey, a win is a win is a win....Good work boys, free smooches from Crosby.
And what about those Pitt Panthers? Can this city be any more awesome when it comes to sports? Congrats to Jonathan Baldwin for being named Big East player of the week.
And last but not least for the sake of entertainment, let's take a peak at Sammy Sosa's new look, shall we?
I am pretty sure it looks like he smacked himself in the face with a bag of flower and then stole his wife's lipstick for kicks. I can't decide if this is some weird tribute to Michael Jackson, or if he was just tired of looking black. Regardless, kids, don't do steroids.
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